


i know you wanna go to heaven but you're human tonight

by merlypops



Series: 5SOS Song Oneshots [17]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Healing Sex, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Smut, Soldier Luke, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:08:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4890406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Everyone knew Luke now, knew the sacrifices he had made and the bravery he had shown, and it struck Calum so suddenly that it felt like the sun was breaking over the treetops because, yes, the blond man lying tangled beneath him <i>might</i> have been a legendary war hero but he was <b>Luke</b> first.<br/>He was Calum’s husband, the small blond boy who had thrown a dice with Calum when they were children… the man Calum had fallen in love with.'</p><p>
  <b>Luke returns from the war in pieces and Calum has to put him back together again.</b>
</p><p>Based on “Young God” by Halsey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i know you wanna go to heaven but you're human tonight

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a few hours which is actually really unusual for me because lately writing at all has been hard but I couldn't get this idea out of my head! I hope you guys will like it!

Luke returned home from the war victorious.

His blond hair was swept away from his forehead like burnished gold and his blue eyes glittered like melting ice. His skin was the colour of bone, the circles under his eyes a faded amethyst, like bruises where the exhaustion had marred his beautiful face as the fighting took its toll.

The path was dusty beneath the distressed leather of Luke’s boots and the wind whistling through the branches of the fir trees that edged the empty road sounded eerie in the night. Luke didn’t let it faze him. After everything he had seen during the war, the dark night was beautiful by comparison.

The stars were twinkling gently overhead in the inky blackness of the sky and he could smell the faintest trace of sea salt on the breeze. The houses were dark now because of how late it was but a few windows shone with golden light, illuminating the way as Luke passed through the sleepy town.

He would have been silent had it not been for the gentle clink of his armour and the soft sighs that escaped him as his sword hung heavy on his hip, driving the edge of his belt into the soft skin and rubbing it raw. Luke couldn’t wait to be free of it but he would have worn it for _another_ five years if it meant fighting to keep Calum and his town safe.

Luke’s heart shuddered in his chest and butterflies began to batter in the confines of his stomach as he walked through the courtyard in the centre of town. There was the pond with the goldfish in and those very same stone benches were still there beneath the apple trees, where he and Calum had shared their first kiss.

 _God_ , Luke had missed Calum and the knowledge that he was about to see him again was staggering. There had been nights hiding wounded in the trenches and flinching every time he saw a shadow loom up in the mist where Luke hadn’t thought he’d make it home again and… and he _had_.

Against all of the odds, he had fought and they had _won_ … and everyone Luke loved was safe.

His steps grew slower as he left the town behind and began to climb the hill, almost home now and yet it didn’t quite feel _real_ that he was here again, walking and breathing the fresh air of a place he never thought he’d be lucky enough to return to.

Luke liked the silence. It was relaxing, being so far away from everyone after five years of practically no privacy at all. Ever since Luke had taken over as commander for the army that had helped turn the tide of the war, Luke had never been left alone again. Everyone had been so desperate to declare their gratitude to the war hero that they’d never taken Luke’s feelings into account and… and it was so utterly _exhausting_.

Fallen leaves crunched beneath Luke’s boots as he trudged up the hillside with his pack heavy on his shoulder but his heart was clenching tightly in his chest, making his breath rasp in his throat like it had done when he was still a teenager, still frightened of thunderstorms and the forest at night and his father –

But Luke’s father was dead now and Luke was used to the sound of thunder, and the forest felt _safe_ after five years on a battlefield.

God, five _years_. Luke had been away for so _long_.

The blond man could see the cottage up ahead, could just make out the gnarled cherry tree growing in the front garden and the rickety wooden fence that enclosed their land. He could see the pines stretching up into the night sky above the thatched roof and the flutter of the curtains inside, like someone had stirred the air.

Luke could hear the familiar bubbling sound of the brook hidden in the grove of trees and the gentle crash of the waves against the clifftops to the east. He could see a sliver of silvery moon in the night, heard the gentle rustle of a rabbit in the blackberry bushes growing beside their fence as the animal scampered away at the sight of the soldier, and then –

 **Calum**.

Delicate little Calum with his dark curls and his dark skin and his dark doe eyes, running out of the front door and freezing as he gazed at Luke with love and pain battling in his eyes. Luke’s heart felt like it was no longer beating in his chest as he stared right back at his husband, his best friend… his whole _world_.

Neither of them spoke at first, just content to stand there and drink the other in as the night grew darker overhead, like a blot of ink that was spreading to hide the snowy white of the parchment beneath. The metaphor reminded Luke of the war again, made him think of the letters he had sent Calum, the blotted ink and smudged words as his hands shook, the specks of blood that sometimes littered the page when Luke was afraid it was all over –

But now he was standing in his front garden again and the five years had been hard on Calum, had made him look older and more afraid, and so absolutely exhausted that he looked too fragile to _touch_ except… except all Luke wanted to _do_ was touch him. He wanted to cradle Calum in his arms and drop kisses all over his cheeks and promise that he would never let him go again.

“ _Luke?_ ” Calum breathed and his chocolate brown eyes were glistening with tears. Luke’s hands were shaking and he took a stumbling step forward, the clank of his armour loud in the silence.

“I came back,” Luke said softly.

The spell was broken and the blond man let out a little huff of breath as Calum collided with him, crashing into Luke’s arms like a shooting star and clinging to him tightly, like he never wanted them to be parted again.

“God, you’re here. You’re _here_. Oh my god, I missed you. So, _so_ much. I missed you.” Calum had tucked his face away into Luke’s neck but the blond man didn’t want that. Five years had passed and he wanted to _see_ the man he’d fallen in love with.

“Let me look at you,” Luke whispered, his voice thick with emotions he couldn’t even put into words. He could feel them lodged painfully in his chest though and it was making tears roll down his cheeks that Calum had to thumb away gently as he cupped Luke’s face in both hands.

“Oh, Luke, your _eyes_ ,” Calum whispered as the tears began to pour anew but he didn’t explain what he meant and Luke didn’t think he had to ask. He’d seen himself too, caught his reflection in newly-polished armour or the blade of his sword, and Calum was right.

Luke’s eyes were _empty_ , numb. Like he’d locked away his imagination and his dreams and his love, and they didn’t show on his face anymore because, back on the battlefield, that would have meant weakness.

“Don’t you ever leave me again,” Calum murmured and Luke’s arms were unbreakable around his husband as the blond man choked on a sob.

“I won’t,” Luke promised and neither of them moved for a little while after that, content to simply hold each other tightly as the breeze grew colder and the wind tore through the branches of the trees.

“Come inside,” Calum said uncertainly but it almost sounded like a question and that hurt Luke too, reminded him of just how much everything had _changed_.

“You haven’t redecorated everything, have you?” the blond man joked weakly and Calum smiled through his tears as he dropped his hand to entwine his fingers with Luke’s trembling ones.

“Yes,” Calum lied. “There are flowers everywhere now. I painted our bedroom pink. We have lace curtains in every room.”

“As if _we_ can afford lace,” Luke said, completely deadpan before his lips twitched suddenly as he gave himself away, and Calum’s answering laughter might have been strained but his eyes were soft as he cupped Luke’s cheek gently, rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin.

“I’m so glad you’re home, sweetheart,” he said gently and a tear rolled down Luke’s cheek without his permission as those words sank in.

 **Home**.

Luke had made it home again.

Everything looked much the same as Luke remembered. There was still a chipped clay jug on the table full of wildflowers and the same woollen blanket draped over the bench opposite their tiny fireplace. Dusty leather-bound books lined the shelves and there was a dice made of bone on there too, a remnant of their childhood games when they were so small they could barely reach up to turn the door handle in Luke's childhood home.

“Sit down?” Calum suggested and it was so refreshing to follow orders instead of give them that Luke obeyed without thinking, sinking down onto the wooden bench and releasing a bone-deep sigh. Calum disappeared to fetch Luke some water before he sat down beside him too, reaching out hesitantly to stroke Luke’s messy blond hair gently and relaxing when the taller man pressed his cheek into Calum’s palm, like he'd been starved of contact.

“Your hair’s got so long,” Calum said as he stroked it back and Luke tried to shrug but the bite of the armour made him wince and his broad shoulders slumped against the weight. “I’m sorry. I should have realised,” Calum said immediately but Luke shook his head wearily, his blue eyes soft and sad.

“You have _nothing_ to apologise for,” he promised and Calum gave him a watery smile as he began to help Luke in removing his armour. It took a long time but the fire was crackling merrily in the grate and the warmth of the room was gradually returning some of the feeling to Luke’s numb hands. Calum dropped a kiss onto his skin every time he removed a piece of metal plating and Luke felt like the ice inside his chest was thawing when Calum removed the last bit.

“Better?” Calum asked and Luke nodded, his eyes drooping a little as he settled back against the woollen blanket. “Do you want to take your tunic off too?” Calum murmured and that sent a pang through Luke because the fact that there were new boundaries between them now was painful.

Despite this though, the blond man nodded weakly, raising his arms to help as Calum eased the frayed material gently up over Luke’s head. Calum’s breath escaped him in a shocked hiss.

“So many scars,” Calum murmured, looking floored, and Luke’s eyes were glassy with exhaustion and pain as the tanned man let his fingers gently brush one that curved dangerously close to Luke’s heart. His pale skin was sore from wearing armour for so long too and Calum noticed this belatedly, rose to retrieve some salve for the abrasions from a little pot on the shelf so that he could help Luke heal.

Luke was crying again although he didn’t seem to have noticed. Calum wasn’t surprised though. After so long fighting to be strong, it must have felt strange and unnatural to be removed from that environment so suddenly.

“Come to bed, Luke,” Calum breathed and Luke rose slowly, looking so much older than his twenty four years. He walked like an old man, stiff like the cold had settled deep in his bones and… and it _hurt_ to see someone who had once been so full of life looking so empty now but… but Calum thought this was probably expected.

Luke would need _time_ to heal and Calum wasn’t going anywhere.

Their bedroom was shadowy and small, and Luke made a little noise of recognition when they came to a stop in the doorway. The rest of their house was plunged into darkness now but there was a candle burning on the table in a little clay holder carved with leaves and stars, and it cast strange shadows on the walls as the flame flickered inside.

“It’s like my tent,” Luke said suddenly, his voice surprisingly steady, and Calum supposed he could see what Luke meant when he looked at the blankets and the long material of the curtains draping down onto the floor.

“Is that a good thing?” Calum asked quietly and Luke considered this for a moment as he stood beside his husband, letting his head fall to rest gently against the older man’s shoulder as they lingered in the purple dark.

“Yes,” Luke said at last and Calum smiled gently.

“That’s good then,” he said softly, entwining his fingers with Luke’s and giving him a gentle tug so that the blond man would follow him over to the bed. “You climb in and get comfortable, sweetheart, okay?” Calum said softly and Luke did as he was asked, looking almost… _childlike_ … like he didn’t know how to react to kindness anymore.

“What else do you need?” Calum asked and Luke reached for him weakly, his cool blue eyes damp with tears.

“You,” Luke pleaded and Calum nodded, blowing out the candle and swallowing past the lump in his throat as he clambered into bed in the darkness.

Calum wrapped his arms securely around his husband, cradling Luke to his chest as they fell asleep. It had always been the other way round before but Calum could sense that Luke needed this now, could see it in how _small_ Luke looked curled up in Calum’s arms.

The dark-haired man drifted into unconsciousness with a mixture of sadness and relief beating through his veins.

*

_Swords clashing. Bodies falling to the ground, as limp as ragdolls. Thunder tearing the leaden sky apart. The clang of metal against metal. Sparks flying as blades clashed together. Blood in his mouth and adrenaline in his veins. Blades cutting through limbs like a knife through butter. Guilt clenching at his heart. Terror pounding through his body. An icy cold fear that he would never again see Calum’s beautiful face as the blade plunged into Luke’s body and twisted –_

Luke startled awake with a ragged gasp, shuddering as a sob tore through him in the darkness. For just a moment, he had no idea where he was and it was _horrifying_ not knowing whether he was in the medical tent or a muddy trench or… or his own _bed_.

“ _Calum_ ,” Luke choked out and his husband jerked awake beside him, his dark eyes glinting in the darkness as they fluttered open at the sound of Luke’s voice. There were tears streaming down the blond man’s cheeks now but he was trying hard to hold them in, not wanting to let his emotions out because then he might not be able to rein them back in again.

“You’ve been so brave,” Calum whispered and it made Luke’s eyes swim with fresh tears. Calum cupped his cheeks, kissing his forehead gently and relaxing when Luke calmed visibly at his touch. “Let yourself _feel_ again, sweetheart,” the dark-haired man pleaded and his eyes were soft with love. “ _Please_.”

The waves crashed against the cliffs outside and a storm was raging now, and Luke was still _glorious_ but he was broken too, like someone had taken him apart and forgotten to put him back together again.

So Calum would fix him. He could do that.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Calum promised as his lips brushed Luke’s forehead gently. “And I’m not letting you go. Not ever. You’re _safe_. I promise you’re safe.”

Luke’s fingertips were pressing into the soft skin of Calum’s shoulders but the dark-haired man didn’t mind in the slightest because any bruises that were left behind would be tangible proof that Luke was still _alive_ , still **here**.

“I need you,” Luke whispered, choked up and so _vulnerable_ lying curled up against Calum’s chest, scarred and too thin, like they hadn’t been feeding him enough while he was away. His blue eyes were burning with need though and Calum could work with that. He could help Luke remember how to _feel_ again.

“Of course,” Calum whispered, letting his lips brush Luke’s jaw gently. “Of course.”

The blond man reached for him, letting out a little sigh of contentment when Calum’s full lips found his in the darkness for the first time in half a decade. It made heat trickle through Calum, starting in his chest but spreading through everywhere else too at the desperate burning _love_ etched into the pale lines of Luke’s face.

Calum settled down over his husband carefully so that he didn't hurt him, threading his fingers through Luke’s golden hair as he kissed him, soft and slow like Luke was the air he so desperately needed to breathe.

“I love you,” Luke whispered against Calum’s lips and, although that had never really been in any doubt, those three words calmed the older man beyond belief.

“I love you too, Luke,” Calum promised before he kissed Luke again, grinding his hips gently against his husband’s as he slipped his tongue into Luke’s mouth, intent on making him forget.

Luke hardened so quickly between the warm press of their bodies and it hurt Calum a lot, how starved Luke had been of affection in the years while he was away. Calum kissed Luke despite the sadness in his chest, licked hotly into Luke’s mouth and swallowed the blond man’s strangled moans as Calum’s hand slipped down to rub Luke through his breeches.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Calum repeated and Luke’s golden eyelashes were spiky with tears as he panted, rocking his hips up into Calum’s palm as his eyes darkened further, like the lack of enough friction was only turning him on more.

“ _Please_ ,” Luke croaked and Calum kissed him again, hot and soft, until the lingering pain in Luke’s eyes had been replaced with lust and love. Calum ducked his head to press hot, open-mouthed kisses to Luke’s throat as he slipped his hand into the younger man’s breeches, curling his fingers around the scorching heat of Luke’s cock and tightening his grip when the blond man bucked his hips into Calum’s fist.

Another strangled moan tore out of Luke as Calum rubbed his thumb over the slit, spreading pre-cum up and down the shaft as Luke sobbed raggedly into Calum’s neck. The dark-haired man was hard too but he found it so easy to forget about when Luke was writhing against him, letting out these desperate little whimpers at the friction as he fucked clumsily into Calum’s fist.

“You’re still so beautiful,” Calum said quietly and the fondness saturating his voice took Luke’s breath away as his tear-wet eyes fluttered open to focus on Calum’s flushed face.

“So are you,” Luke replied but his voice was shaking and the heat pooling in his stomach burnt hotter. Calum’s fist was sliding more smoothly now and the pleasure shooting down Luke’s spine was making his toes curl as his hips jerked at the friction.

God, it had been so long. He didn’t even know how he’d _survived_ without Calum for this long.

“Cal, you’re so –” Luke broke off with a groan as Calum tightened his fist and Luke’s eyes slid shut at the pleasure. Calum’s dark eyes fell as he glanced down between them, taking in the soft pink head of Luke’s cock as it glided smoothly through Calum’s fist. The dark-haired man let his thoughts drift as Luke stretched to suck a bruise into his neck, remembered how it had felt when Luke was fucking _him_ instead and Calum’s cheeks flushed redder still when a moan tore through him at that.

Luke’s eyes fluttered open and his trembling hands fell to Calum’s hips, pressed little bruises into the tanned skin as he encouraged Calum to thrust against his thigh, giving him the friction he so desperately needed. The tears that welled up in Luke’s beautiful blue eyes sparkled like stars. Calum loved him so much.

Luke was biting down hard on his bottom lip now, fighting to keep quiet like he’d most likely had to do during the last few years when he closed his eyes and thought of Calum, and that thought hurt the dark-haired man, made a lump rise in his throat because Luke needed reminding of where he was, that he was _safe_ … that Calum was here with him, right now. Forever and always.

“It’s okay,” Calum said softly but his voice came out rough with lust. “Sweetheart, it’s alright.” Luke’s jaw dropped as Calum twisted his wrist a little and a soft, almost _frightened_ -sounding moan escaped Luke as he lay there panting on the sheets. “Just let go, Luke. I’m still here. I’ve got you. Just let go.”

Calum rubbed his thumb over the slit again, focusing on the head of Luke’s flushed, leaking cock because the sounds that were beginning to pour out of Luke now were wonderful.

Calum’s movements were getting clumsy as his stomach tightened and, even if it _did_ feel amazing rubbing against Luke’s thigh, it still wasn’t enough. The desperation burning in Calum’s veins only turned him on more though and the whine that escaped him when Luke’s hand finally curled around his cock was almost embarrassingly loud.

“I’ve got you too,” Luke gasped out, breathless and needy as his hips rolled into Calum’s fist, faster and faster as the lust burnt brighter in his veins, casting everything else in shadow. Calum was close too, pressing messy open-mouthed kisses to Luke’s broad shoulders as he fucked into Luke’s hand, biting his moans into Luke’s skin as the heat burnt in his stomach like lava.

Luke’s chest was heaving now and his cheeks were flaming but he was staring at Calum with desperation, like the friction wasn’t _quite_ enough to send him toppling over the edge. Calum ducked his head to kiss Luke, still fucking into his fist as he sucked at Luke’s bottom lip, gently at first and then harder, biting it and making Luke’s cock kick in Calum’s hand.

The moans leaving Luke were so loud now but they were all Calum had wanted to hear because they meant Luke felt _safe_ enough to show how he was feeling. Calum hid his smile in Luke’s neck, keeping up the steady pace of his hand as he sucked a bruise into the pale skin of Luke’s throat, making the blond man fall apart.

Luke cried out as he came, arching his back as he shot pearly white cum across the tensed muscles of his abdomen. Luke’s blond hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat, and his icy blue eyes were _warm_ and glitter-soft now.

Calum slumped down beside Luke with a little cry, so hard it _hurt_ but just relieved at the love he could see burning in his husband’s eyes.

“Cal,” Luke murmured, voice thick with lust and weariness. “ _God_ , I missed this.”

Luke touched Calum again and his hand wasn’t shaking anymore as he squeezed Calum’s cock gently, jerking his fist and rubbing his thumb over the head as Calum’s hips jerked desperately. It felt unbelievably good now that Luke was giving him his full attention and the fire was coiling hotter in Calum’s stomach but it wasn’t quite enough and it dragged a desperate sob from him.

Luke pulled Calum closer, turned him onto his side as he kept fisting him but he filled the palm of his free hand with Calum’s soft flesh, kneading it gently and making the dark-haired man moan as the tears began to leak down his face. Luke slid his finger between Calum’s cheeks, grazing the tip of it gently over Calum’s hole and giving a watery smile at the whine that ripped through Calum as his cock kicked out a spurt of pre-cum.

Luke kept the movement of his fist steady but he began to circle Calum’s hole with his finger, this perfect frustrating pressure that apparently he’d remembered after all this time.

Calum’s hips were jerking almost violently now but his cock was swelling and he was just _seconds_ away from losing it when Luke pressed the tip of his finger into Calum’s hole.

Calum lost control completely. His hands went slack where they had been gripping Luke’s broad shoulders tightly and the moans tearing through him were shockingly loud as Luke gazed at his husband lovingly, taking in the absolute pleasure flooding Calum’s beautiful face as he climaxed.

God, Luke had missed him so much.

When he gazed into Calum’s eyes as the dark-haired man finally stirred, rousing himself to stare too, Luke could see the sentiment reflected back at him in the pure love _shining_ in the dark-haired man's gaze.

“I love you, Calum,” Luke whispered, wrapping his arms around Calum’s narrow shoulders and cuddling him close as the tanned man struggled to catch his breath again.

“I love you too, Luke,” Calum breathed.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms.

*

When Luke woke the next morning, it took him a moment to place where he was.

There were no sounds of fighting, no distant groans or cries or shouts. He couldn’t hear the clank of armour or smell the decay in the air. The room he was in smelt _fresh_ instead, clean and comforting and… and _safe_.

Luke opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Calum’s beautiful face. His husband was lying with his cheek pressed to Luke’s scarred chest, his expression peaceful in sleep as his hand rested protectively on Luke’s ribs. The blond man raised a shaking hand to card his fingers gently through the dark-haired man’s curls and a relieved breath escaped Luke when Calum didn’t disappear like he had done all of the other times Luke had glimpsed him amidst the fighting.

This was real. Luke was really here. He was  _home_.

Calum’s eyes fluttered open, like he could feel his husband’s gaze resting heavily on his face. The tanned man smiled, slow and warm like honey or treacle, and the beauty of him stole Luke’s breath from his chest, made his heart flutter with love.

He didn’t feel so empty anymore.

Calum’s gaze softened as he took in the wonder on Luke’s face and he prayed that Luke would get through this, that Calum would be able to help him with his hand grasping Luke’s tightly as he led him through the darkness.

Everyone knew Luke now, knew the sacrifices he had made and the bravery he had shown, and it struck Calum so suddenly that it felt like the sun was breaking over the treetops because, yes, the blond man lying tangled beneath him _might_ have been a legendary war hero but he was **Luke** first.

He was Calum’s husband, the small blond boy who had thrown a dice with Calum when they were children… the man Calum had fallen in love with.

During his long journey home, Luke had been afraid that everything would be different but, as the sun burnt through the early morning mist and the trees outside stirred in a fresh breeze that blew in off the ocean, Luke knew he had been mistaken.

Calum looked just the same as he had always done, a little older maybe and with a lot more frown lines brought on by stress and five years alone in the town they’d grown up in but… but his chocolate brown eyes still sparkled with love and amusement and fondness, and the pads of his fingers were still soft as they mapped out every tiny change on Luke’s face and… and it was so, _so_ much more than enough.

Calum would always bring Luke home again.

Luke would march a thousand miles to keep him safe.

He’d do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Please let me know what you thought by leaving comments and kudos <3


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